Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
