I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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