Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
