Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm at about main and main street
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
