don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Randomize
