If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
