I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
