I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
