my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
