I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
