Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
