ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
