census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
