you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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