We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
