I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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