All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you would pick up someone in the library
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
