Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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