Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
