how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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