oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
