i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Send help, water and tortillas.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
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