I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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