Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
