This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
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