Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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