And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Someone came in the potted fern
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
