Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Sorry about my life...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
