I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
