Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
