I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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