We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I am midnight drunk by noon
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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