How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
