If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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