I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
