all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
