Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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