home. puking in laundry basket.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
