Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize