My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
