Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
