I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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