The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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