shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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