look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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