Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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