would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
