if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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