Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just invented taco cereal.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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