Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
