Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
