we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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