I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
