There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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