It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
