PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
