just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
