So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
